Lifes Meusings

I just finished a glass or two of wine. (ok two) Sit down and record my calories for the day (I'm right on the dot with the budget) and I'm now listening to a few of my favorite songs.

Decaff coffee is sitting next to me filled with a sugar free syrup, milk, and a tiny squeeze of whipped cream. Perfect end to a not so stressful day. Perfect.

What I need now, though, is to go play with Memphis... but the days are SO hot lately. Too hot for me to go sweat it out in a barn. So really, all I can do is sit from the safety of my computer and thinking about seeing Memphis. Poor horse probably has no clue what is going on. Awesome horse.

I'm also listening to the chicks behind me in the brooder just chirping away. Cute little buggers are starting to sprout out their first little feathers. They grow so fast. They'll be outside in about 3 more weeks. Then off to kill the older hens before winter. Life is funny like that, the older hens don't realize their demise. They just process day to day. No animal wants to die. Not a one. Yet, I continue to eat meat, process my chickens, and the like knowing I wouldn't want the same fate. BUT, if I had to accept it as a fact that one day I would be slaughtered, I would want to go like my chickens. Fast and painless.

Lucille is doing so well. I'm so please with everything she does. I'm so amazed by what she learns. She has me wrapped around her little finger. Yet I still feel compelled to not let her know it. I don't let her think that I will come to her at the drop of the hat, yet when I do come, I am beyond a comfort. I am her mother after all, but I want to set up boundaries early early on. It's a tricky game to mold a tiny person now for the future. I can only hope that I do a good job. A nerdy kid wouldn't be that bad.And her father is such a great person, although he can be slightly crass (ok really crass), he will be a great role model for what a man should be.

Life right now is all about what I make it. I need to work harder, though. I have a tendancy to slide when I am allowed. Need to work harder on my diet, job, and life. Although I am happy in both. (just not the diet)