Crazy freaking week.....

I know, I know I never finished my dinner post. I will. Even if its a year from now....... I will. Let's talk about much cooler stuff!


So on Wends I am sitting at my house hanging out and talking to my BIL about the weather. He comments on how it would be interesting if one of the trees would fall in our backyard. I will be damned, but 20 minutes later I am talking to my sister (also about the crazy weather) when I hear what I think is people walking on the roof. I freeze kinda listening to it and thinking how weird it would be for somebody to be on our roof. Then the roof groans and boom! It sounds like a bomb is going off and the whole room that I am in shakes. I slowly get up to go into the hallway and notice fine grey particulate everywhere in the hallway. I am scared to death at this point and walk closer to the kitchen. I am breathing this stuff in! There are peices of insulation in the living room entryway from the dining room. Amongst the dust, I walk towards the dining room and notice the floor is completely covered in insulation.

From here I slowly look up and see my ceiling is gone. Completely and totally flabbergasted, I look at the destruction to my house. I am shaking at this point. Completely and totally terrified. "What if it happens again? What if it gets worse? What if I get electricuted? What if? What if? What if?" is all that ran through my mind. I call Joe not in tears, but in a very terrified shaky voice: "Joe come home now our dining room is destroyed". He immediatly came home from work. I called Joe's mom in a similar fashion to which she rushed to my aid as well.

I then called our homeowners insurance to report the claim and then stood in my living room leering into the dining room wondering what to do next. "Can we live in the house? Can we ever get it back? Can we survive somewhere else?" were all my upmost important thoughts. So, in the end here we are at my MIL's house hangining out to live for the next 2-3 weeks before comebody can get the place fixed. The tree is off the roof and it is tarped but it is still unsafe to live in the house. I am nervous and upset at the thought of not living there and just want to go home. But there is nothing to go home to at this point. I am deeply sadended.

So here are some pics...

So you want to spend an entire day in the kitchen....

Yesterday I got a crazy hair up my ass and decided I was going to cook. All day. For one meal. Then it got crazier. Lets go ahead and invite two friends over to eat said meal. I do wish Josh would have gotten pictures of all the food I made. They were beyond impressed by my dishes and so... if any of you have any inclination to cook I would make this meal. Maybe a special date night for you and whomever or for a group of friends.

So below is the spread, menu, and instructions. Have fun!

Menu:

1 loaf basic bread
Lamb chops w/vermouth sauce
Mashed potato's
Sauteed green beans
Banana Cream Pie.

Ingredient List:


Basic Bread:

1 cup flour
3/8 teas yeast
1 1/4 teas honey
1 1/3 cup warm water

2 cups flour
1/2 teas yeast
1 1/2 teas salt

Banana Cream Pie:

3/4 plus 2 tablespoon sugar
1/3 cup cornstarch
1/8 teas salt
3 cups milk (use whole or 2%)
3 egg yolks
3 tabls butter
1/4 vanilla bean
1 cup whipping cream
1/4 cup sugar
2-3 banana's diced
White chocolate grated
1 pre-baked pie shell

Lamb:

2 tabls steak seasoning
1 tabls rosemary
1/2 lb lamb per person (I prefer rib, but you can use whatever)
1/2 cup dry vermouth
1 tabl flour
1-2 cup beef broth

Veggies:

1.5 potatoes per person
1 tabls butter per potato
2-3 tabls milk per potato
salt, pepper, garlic powder

1/2 lb green beans per person
1 clove garlic per 1/2 lb
1/8 cup onion per 1/2 lb
salt, pepper

Instructions:

For a 7pm dinner time....

Start the bread at 12pm. Mix the first group of ingredients in a large bowl, it should look almost like pancake mix. Mix the second grouping in a small bowl. Pour this flour mix over the top of the large bowl mix. Cover with plastic wrap, walk away, and forget it exists for 3 hours.

At 1pm start the pie. Pre-bake the pie shell if you haven't already. Combine the sugar, cornstarch, milk, and egg yolks in a medium saucepan. Add the vanilla bean. Cook over medium heat stirring constantly with a whisk. Make sure to scrape the bottom of the pan every now and again to avoid clumps. The mixture in about 10-15 minutes will thicken. Remove the bean. It happens quickly! Let cook for another minute or so and it will be the consistency of pudding. Remove from heat, add butter and stir till melted. Pour in the pie shell, cover with plastic wrap, and refrigerate.

At 3pm come back to the bread mix. It should be bubbling through the flour mix. Grab a wooden spoon and stir it all together. It will form a nice looking dough. Turn out onto a floured surface and knead for about 2-3 minutes. Add flour a little at a time if its too sticky. Cover with the bowl inverted over it for 20 minutes. Come back and knead another 2-3 minutes adding flour a tiny bit at a time to keep from really sticking. Put the dough back into the bowl, cover with plastic wrap, and forget it for 1 hour.

At 4 pm the dough for the bread should have risen almost to double. Punch it down, pick it up gently and fold it like a piece of paper. Don't push the dough just fold it over. Cover with plastic wrap, forget its existence again for an hour.

At 5pm punch the dough down again, it should have risen a little less than last time. Punch down, remove from bowl, and shape into a loaf on a greased cookie sheet. Sprinkle some flour on top and cover with plastic wrap. ( I have used the same piece over and over)

Back to the pie. Put the cream and sugar in a bowl. Mix on high speed with beaters until it starts to thicken. Do not over beat! You will get butter! Beat until it looks like whipped cream. Remove the pie from the fridge and spread the banana's sliced on top. Cover with the whipped cream and sprinkle grated white chocolate over it. Put back in fridge.

Preheat oven to 425 F. Peel potatoes and prep the green beans. Chop your onions and garlic and add to the same bowl as the beans. Set aside. Chop the taters and put them in a large pot with cold water. Bring to a boil over the stove. Trim excess fat from the lamb. If you have rib portions cut the ribs into 1 rib each.

Put bread in the oven. Cook until golden and when tapped sounds hollow. Should take 30-35 minutes.

It's 5:45.

Ok, I am going to finish this post tomorrow. I am beat. I do know where I left off.

Day 14 and other ramblings

So, today is day 14 of this crazy experiement that I started. My emotions have evolved into something totally different as of late. I don't know what it is about the no alcohol thing but now I'm kinda like eh about not drinking. Like since I have done it for 2 weeks I now know that I don't actually need the sauce. There have been "thoughts" about it, but thats about it. No really OMG I MUST HAVE IT NOW cravings. The bottle of vodka and Chambord have been sitting on the liquor cabinet for 2 weeks without so much as a glance from me. I'm kinda thinking heavilly into this because for a second there I thought I couldn't give it up. Now I know that it is possible.

I do need to clean the house today. Sigh, that means the Christmas tree is going to be put back up in the attic... finally. I like these days when Joe is gone and I am home alone. I can turn up the music and forget about it all and just clean. Sounds crazy, but ya know.

I lost a household yesterday because of a dumb mistake on my part. I am still beating myself up over it. It was because I gave them a discount, unbeknownst to me that they weren't entitled to. I feel so bad but I didn't have any other avenue for them. I have never done that before and I think I was so nervous about screwing up the guys quote that I went ahead and screwed it up. My mind subconsiously hates me apparently. That just means next week I have to try a little harder....

I want to bake a cake today but for the life of me I cannot decide what to make. My favorite cake ever is orange cake but Joe is not the biggest fan of that. I am thinking about doing a yellow cake with a mocha frosting and a filling of some sort. Or do a chocolate frosting and something else for filling. Hell I don't know. I just want to bake and clean. How freaking domestic is this? What have I become? I don't drink, quit goign oout on the weekends and now I am totally a homebounder. I am so lame already at 25.

No litters for me.

It just sickens me sometimes to see what humans can and will do to animals. Hell people for that matter. I know, I know, I have talked about this before but damnit I still feel that way. I wish I had a place for all abused animals and children and just keep em all. The sad part is I don't, so in my life I have to choose my battle carefully. If I pick one dog, horse, rat, child, or any other living creature to adopt today, will there be another tomorrow that picks at my heart strings just as bad.

The sad reality is yes, and I have to bite my lip and decide that I can't save them all. Thats the worst part about it, I can't. I can give my all and my best to what I have now, waiting for the time when I can devote myself to the next one. Patience has never been a strong point of mine and learning it has been so hard. I'm an impulse person to some extent and sad stories do it for me every single time.

A blog I read every single day is fuglyhorseoftheday.blogspot.com if you have never read it go, go now. If you are an avid horse fan I'm not sure how you haven't read it. She has totally taught me alot in horse ownership and self responsibility. Not so much in care, but in how to own. If that makes any sense.

Step one: don't breed unless you have a quality animal to breed. If you can sell your animal that is a standing stud/female for double or triple of what you can sell your new babies for then go for the breeding.

Step two: make sure that whatever you are using to breed or breed two has something behind the fancy name. Show quality, you have and are using an animal that has every single confirmation that is required of said breed and is sane.

Step three: evaluate your surroundings. So you have a great animal but you live in just squander, clean it up. I don't want to go buy a full bred dog, a expensive horse, or even a car if the kennels aren't clean, house isn't clean, fences aren't kept, trash everywhere, or ext.

Step four: even if you have the animal that is just a prize winner, do you have the money for another? If not stop there. Just geld/fix your animal. If you can't sell your new stock you are the responsible party for it, nobody else. Don't let it starve in the back pasture/room whatever.

Step five: interview your possible prospects and follow up! Follow up is the single most important thing! People are idiots and will and have sell off the animal you worked so hard to produce for a quick buck!

So now you know. I will never be a breeder, I don't want that responsibility. My dogs are not full bred because I don't care and their just couch pets. When we go to the farm I will have full breds because they will have a job, but you better believe their asses will be fixed. I have no time or patience for a litter of anything, even barn cats. They'll be fixed as well. Even if they run off, at least I know I'm not adding to an overpopulated situation.

When I get horses, if its a stallion, his balls are gone. I don't really care how great he is, someone sold him with the intentions of not breeding him, well neither am I. He will be a gelding. Mares? Not too much I can do there, but if I have geldings and mares at least I know I will have no suprise foals/colts.

It really irks me to no end when I see friends with animals with their bits intact. They have no intentions of breeding, the animal isn't of quality, they just know its a "purebred" and that maybe one day they will. Eff that shit. I wish I could just punch them sometimes but over time I have learned that it is a battle not worth picking because I won't win up against them.

Sish.

Day 9

So here is day nine of this test of will if you will. (haha see what I did there?) Today I don't miss it, in fact I just want to go to the gym tonight. 10lbs needs to go this month if I am going to fit into my wedding dress by March. I need 10lbs in Feb too. If I keep up the gym and no alcohol this will be quite easy. Although I have noticed I am eating out of sheer boredom now as opposed to drinking. So I guess this means I need to come up with more busy work to do and have water around me everywhere so when snacking hits I am prepared. Fun times ahead. (I know your excited, get excited)

Day 8...

It's getting easier. I still haven't had a drink and for me that is phenominal. Don't get me wrong, oh how I want one every now and again but caving just means I gave in to my bad side. I have until the end of this month, which is technically over 31 days when this is all said and done. I plan on buying lobsters and opening that great bottle of wine that is in my cabinet and having a wonderful dinner with my honey.

I was watching MTV last night (I know don't gasp) and they had the 'Real life' or something of that nature on there about alcoholics. Good god. I am nowhere near them! I was horrified! This girl was going to AA but continued to drink, I mean really. In the end apparently she was able to quit but still. Another girl woke up to drinking and refused to quit. What the hell? I know when I'm drinking its hard for me to picture not drinking in the near future,but I think that's because I'm drinking at the time.

This blog is turning into me not drinking which I think is just hilarious. I'm pretty sure I don't have a drinking problem but it has been interesting last week to think about giving it up completely in the future. I like it though and a good wine will always been in my thoughts. As will a good beer and a great mixed drink.

And I will go on...

Horseback riding lessons have been going good. I'm riding a good old lesson horse who I think I am learning a ton on. For a second there I felt almost stagnant in my lessons but I think thats because I insisted on riding a horse that may be out of my riding abilities for right now. I want to canter right now whereas before I was terrified. I feel in control of her too... Normally a horse runs over me because, well, I let them. Yesterday I was in control, not the horse. It was a great feeling that by the end of the lesson when I said "whoa" the horse stopped instead of using the reins. When I clucked she went, and more intensity in my voice caused her to trot. A light kick made her canter. I mean it was absolutely beautiful. It was only because I felt confident in the saddle. Otherwise I have a strong feeling it would have been just like normal lessons that I had been having.

Horseback riding has also taught me alot about myself. Normally I would have given up on this by now only out of pure frustration. Each time I show up though, I suprise myself. Be it I had a horrible lesson or I had a great one, its a new thing every single time. I'm proud of how far I have come so far and can't wait to move forward in my lessons and hope to compete soon. It has also been a haha to my muslces. My abs right now are sore. I mean, I can't do enough crunches to get my abs sore like this! My leg muscles also sorta hate me and the more I ride and learn to ride correctly, the more sore I have become. It makes sense as I am finally learning the correct seat and positions to be in for each gait. It's taken a long time but its coming together.

I have decided next week I am going to make it the best week ever. I want to go to work tomorrow and take over. Sell 5 auto policies and 2 home, that is the goal. Let me ask everyone I talk to on the phone and cross sell! Call from my lists! It's a new year, fresh slate and I have been at the new office long enough to understand what needs to happen. I am also going to talk to my boss and get some things changed. If they can't change I am going to ask for a transfer. I cannot have this held back feeling that I have felt ever since I started there.

I am also looking at lots of options for lots of stuff. I'll post more about all that later. :)

Day 6

So today is day six of my alcohol free month. It's becoming easier though today I really crave it for some reason. I just want one glass but know it will become a unwelcome feeling of regret in my mind. I don't want to dissapoint myself like that. This is such a big moment for me as you all read in my last post about steps I am taking to become a little cleaner in living.

So my dogs are happily laying on the couch with me and Joe. Buck is snuggled up really close to Joe; Joe is resting his elbow on Bucks head. Shadow is at the other end all stretched out and totally happy napping quietly on the soft cushions. Sometimes I wonder about them and if they dream or not as they sure do act like it sometimes. Yesterday they were in much the same set up as they are tonight and Shadow was baring her teeth at something in her dream. Me and Joe just giggled and giggled about it because it's just funny to see a dog do that. So my dumbass dog is dreaming as well. Except he is sticking his tongue out every so slightly and licking things.

Now, Joe and I found this to be the funniest thing ever last night. Here is Shadow, our ass kicker dog, kicking ass in her dreams. Then Buck, the biggest sissy ever, being a sissy in his dreams. Just goes to show that if they do dream, they don't change their behaviors there either.

Alcohol less for 5 days!

I'm so excited that today is day 5 of no alcohol! I have made a pact for one month of none and so far I have been in two situations that normally I would take full advantage of yet I haven't. The first was Tuesday night when we went out with the fam for mexican. Normally, I would have 2-3 margarita's with dinner. I declined and drank water with lemon. Then there was last night, New Years Eve, where normally you drink to excess. I volunteered to drive everyone around so I would have to avoid the sauce. It worked out like a charm, I didn't even do the champagne toast!!

So, this is day five of no alcohol and you know, I broke down this morning. I was thinking about things in general; money, stress, work, life... and I just started crying. I couldn't drink to calm myself down like I normally did so I had to just cry. It felt good but it was a major kick in the teeth. I talked it out with Joe, but its amazing that a week ago I would have just grabbed a bottle of anything and had 1-3 drinks over the course of a few hours.

The no alcohol thing has also made my thinking really really clear. I wake up in the morning with a clear head. Normally it feels really cloudy and I just sorta function till I have that glass of wine with dinner. Now, I know its only been 5 days... but its amazing the change that happens in just 5 days! I'm super excited about next week already, I can't believe it. I want to hit the gym majorlly next week as I am going to get new shoes this week, so I think this will help things as well.

Then when I reflect on before I turned 21, I went to the gym 4-5 times a week, I was super healthy, and I was a A-B student. After I turned 21 and started drinking more then every day, my grades went downhill, I quit the gym, and got more depressed.Not sure what finally made me decide to stop for 30 days but I am excited to see what it looks like after this month is done. I plan on making alot of really neeto posts here lately this month because of this.

Here is to one week on Saturday!