I swear..... sometimes I suprise myself....
So I woke up last night and could not for the life of me go back to sleep. When that happens I begin to reflect on things in my life and where I want to go in the next 5 years. I want to work more with horses and get my own. I would love to work at a barn of some sort doing anything at all. Getting paid would be a plus but I don't have to. I want to work at a different agency/have my own within the next five years. I want to grow as a salesperson and watch things grow. I need a pt job but I don't want to settle on just any pt job, I want to do something I like.
I swear to you, I haven't had a drink in 4 days and making it a goal to hit 30 or more without. My mind is so clear right now and its caused me to do alot of thinking, instead of drinking and it becoming cloudy. I'm a motivated person but I still need a little push now and again.
I'm rambling.....
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
This really "Grinds my gears"
(thanks Peter from Family Guy for the above phrase)
I was reading another blog of a horse lover. A link, link , and another link later I was reading about hay issues and dumping of horses. To then which I read this comment, "What Congress needs to do is close the loophole that allows people to buy horses at auction; with their only intent being to ship them out of the country for slaughter."
Really smart guy? I'm gonna say a few things that could piss a few people off but I truly believe in. I am not a horse person in any sense. I have a high respect for the animals and the owners that truly care about them. I would love to own one and while I have the land for it, I certainly don't have the money. Back to my original subject....
So you want Congress to end horse slaughter? Do you also want a government program to take care of all the horses that are bred and brought into this world every single year that don't have a chance? People who just "have" to breed, the horses that have this amazing color, and some people just looking to make a buck. There are alot of selfish idiots out there who breed to somehow make their own lives better. To me, it's like driving a BMW or a 25 year old pickup. (I'm currently driving the pickup) You can boast by saying you're a breeder to your friends and to non horsey people that sounds cool. Non-horse people do not see the confirmation faults of your animals or worry about the horse having papers.
Soooooo you breed breed breed because you have a mare in some barbwire fenced encapment. So you bring another horse into this already saturated market. Craigslist has free horses all the time! Then in five years this little horse of no fault of his own, is in a slaughter auction on double decker to Mexico. But what if congress does what you ask them to and stop the slaughter? Then that horse that was a baby 5 years ago is now starving in somebodies pasture. He has no hope for anything and is just withering away. Nobody wants the animal because you didn't put any time training him manners as a colt.
I am for horse slaughter. I am a horse lover but horse slaughter does the dirty work that all the idiot breeders could have put a stop to. I would much rather see a horse go to slaughter than sit and starve in someones backyard. It's less cruel imo. I fully believe if you breed, train the horse you just had to have reproduce! Even if its a 1 year old, teach it ground manners! Get it halter broke, make sure it will lift its feet, learn how to stand to be clipped, learn how to be led, and various other things. So if the horse does get a new owner it isn't about ground zero at the time of purchse.
This is almost the same to me as my local animal shelter. My dog came from the city pound. He was skinny found wandering around the streets when the animal control picked him up. If I didn't get him he would have been put down. If somebody would have just spayed or nuetered their dog Buck would not have been. Which is fine, there was more animals than Buck in the pound. Some you know weren't going to be adopted. There are more animals than homes and its from people not thinking before they breed. Buck will live all of his days with me, I can't bear to part with him, but I also hope that the dog that created him is now fixed.
I was reading another blog of a horse lover. A link, link , and another link later I was reading about hay issues and dumping of horses. To then which I read this comment, "What Congress needs to do is close the loophole that allows people to buy horses at auction; with their only intent being to ship them out of the country for slaughter."
Really smart guy? I'm gonna say a few things that could piss a few people off but I truly believe in. I am not a horse person in any sense. I have a high respect for the animals and the owners that truly care about them. I would love to own one and while I have the land for it, I certainly don't have the money. Back to my original subject....
So you want Congress to end horse slaughter? Do you also want a government program to take care of all the horses that are bred and brought into this world every single year that don't have a chance? People who just "have" to breed, the horses that have this amazing color, and some people just looking to make a buck. There are alot of selfish idiots out there who breed to somehow make their own lives better. To me, it's like driving a BMW or a 25 year old pickup. (I'm currently driving the pickup) You can boast by saying you're a breeder to your friends and to non horsey people that sounds cool. Non-horse people do not see the confirmation faults of your animals or worry about the horse having papers.
Soooooo you breed breed breed because you have a mare in some barbwire fenced encapment. So you bring another horse into this already saturated market. Craigslist has free horses all the time! Then in five years this little horse of no fault of his own, is in a slaughter auction on double decker to Mexico. But what if congress does what you ask them to and stop the slaughter? Then that horse that was a baby 5 years ago is now starving in somebodies pasture. He has no hope for anything and is just withering away. Nobody wants the animal because you didn't put any time training him manners as a colt.
I am for horse slaughter. I am a horse lover but horse slaughter does the dirty work that all the idiot breeders could have put a stop to. I would much rather see a horse go to slaughter than sit and starve in someones backyard. It's less cruel imo. I fully believe if you breed, train the horse you just had to have reproduce! Even if its a 1 year old, teach it ground manners! Get it halter broke, make sure it will lift its feet, learn how to stand to be clipped, learn how to be led, and various other things. So if the horse does get a new owner it isn't about ground zero at the time of purchse.
This is almost the same to me as my local animal shelter. My dog came from the city pound. He was skinny found wandering around the streets when the animal control picked him up. If I didn't get him he would have been put down. If somebody would have just spayed or nuetered their dog Buck would not have been. Which is fine, there was more animals than Buck in the pound. Some you know weren't going to be adopted. There are more animals than homes and its from people not thinking before they breed. Buck will live all of his days with me, I can't bear to part with him, but I also hope that the dog that created him is now fixed.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Geeky games and family
So, I at home right now with some of my family, to see the rest in a few hours. Joe and I got here last night at my sisters house and boy did we just geek it up. We all sat around playing Diablo 2 for hours. How freaking dorky is that. In fact the three of them are playing it now, but I am stuck watching kid tv with my neice because the other computer that Diablo is on is the tv comp. It's ok I guess, they sound so nerdy! "I need a scroll of identification", "I need a mana potion" , " I need better weapons", jeez how big of nerds are they?
Ok I admit it, I'm jealous. I want to be playing too. Somehow its a new form of family bonding with the video games. I want to just be a part of that family bonding, not so much geeking it up. Soon we're goin to go visit my crazy mother and the rest of the family. Oh the joys of having brunch and eating prime rib..... yeah I tried to figure that one out as well.
Ok I admit it, I'm jealous. I want to be playing too. Somehow its a new form of family bonding with the video games. I want to just be a part of that family bonding, not so much geeking it up. Soon we're goin to go visit my crazy mother and the rest of the family. Oh the joys of having brunch and eating prime rib..... yeah I tried to figure that one out as well.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Guns and Dogs
So Joe and I went to the gunshow on Saturday. Pretty standard issue gun show things; guns, ammo, gun parts, random crap, and a lot of people watching for amusement. I went in with small anticipation for a new gun. Let me emphasize small anticipation. Then I get to the gunshow and see a gun that I've been looking at. Start handling it, start talking to the seller, and then bam. There I am filling out a yellow form and pulling out $460 bucks for the gun. 30 minutes after I picked it up I had it in a cute black case ready to take home.
So I know, wondering what that gun happened to be? Well, I picked up a Springfield XD 40, the compact version; that's the one with the 4" barrel. I am past excited to take it out to shoot it! I have shot Joe's many times but his is the subcompact version so it's like a mini me version of mine. Hopefully in the next year I'll have my CCW and can start carrying it around with me. I know, I know, that seems somewhat trashy to be carrying as a female. A person can say that all they want till their in a situation that has scared the pants off of them.
Then there is my cute big dog. He is just a huge idiot that I really don't think I could live without. I am NOT a crazy dog lady, so get that thought out of your head. I just really do love my dog. He is my best friend and is totally loyal to me. Well, to be fair he is a huge sissy and runs from his own shadow.... Yet, the other night when I couldn't sleep I went out to the couch to watch tv at 4:30am; that magical time of the morning when there is nothing on. Good stuff to put one to sleep to. Buck was laying on the couch just curled up into a tiny ball and sleeping. I got a blanket and laid my head on Buck's neck and fell right to sleep. Instead of moving away, Buck just required some of my blankets and cuddled his head into my chest.
Joe came out around 7am to wake me from my blissful slumber and I have no idea when or how I fell asleep. I just know Buck is super warm and did not mind me sleeping on him one bit. He is just the best cuddler I know. His calmness when petted or recieving attention is the most wonderful thing in the world. He is always willing to go hiking with his pack on, go chase some cows at the farm, go for a walk, or hang out with all the campers at the campsites. I am so happy I adopted him from the city pound, even though I don't believe he is smart enough to realize what I did.
The picture that graces the front of this blog was from the first year I owned him. That was when Buck first figured out what the word "lake" meant and how to jump off the back of the boat. He loves to play fight and so that pic is of one of my friends doing just that with him. He is my best friend and I hope to do everything I can for him till the end of his days.
So I know, wondering what that gun happened to be? Well, I picked up a Springfield XD 40, the compact version; that's the one with the 4" barrel. I am past excited to take it out to shoot it! I have shot Joe's many times but his is the subcompact version so it's like a mini me version of mine. Hopefully in the next year I'll have my CCW and can start carrying it around with me. I know, I know, that seems somewhat trashy to be carrying as a female. A person can say that all they want till their in a situation that has scared the pants off of them.
Then there is my cute big dog. He is just a huge idiot that I really don't think I could live without. I am NOT a crazy dog lady, so get that thought out of your head. I just really do love my dog. He is my best friend and is totally loyal to me. Well, to be fair he is a huge sissy and runs from his own shadow.... Yet, the other night when I couldn't sleep I went out to the couch to watch tv at 4:30am; that magical time of the morning when there is nothing on. Good stuff to put one to sleep to. Buck was laying on the couch just curled up into a tiny ball and sleeping. I got a blanket and laid my head on Buck's neck and fell right to sleep. Instead of moving away, Buck just required some of my blankets and cuddled his head into my chest.
Joe came out around 7am to wake me from my blissful slumber and I have no idea when or how I fell asleep. I just know Buck is super warm and did not mind me sleeping on him one bit. He is just the best cuddler I know. His calmness when petted or recieving attention is the most wonderful thing in the world. He is always willing to go hiking with his pack on, go chase some cows at the farm, go for a walk, or hang out with all the campers at the campsites. I am so happy I adopted him from the city pound, even though I don't believe he is smart enough to realize what I did.
The picture that graces the front of this blog was from the first year I owned him. That was when Buck first figured out what the word "lake" meant and how to jump off the back of the boat. He loves to play fight and so that pic is of one of my friends doing just that with him. He is my best friend and I hope to do everything I can for him till the end of his days.
Friday, December 12, 2008
So I've had a recurring ongoing dream for the past two weeks. Wait, let me start this off by saying I'm a stupidly skittish person. I freak out over everything and always think somebody is coming to get me. There, I have a phobia of people hurting me. Anyway, the dream has always been the same, someone breaks into the house while Joe isn't there and I shoot and kill them. It's insanity and the person I kill is nobody I know. Just some short haired teenage kid.
I think a large part of this crazy dream thing is I have been reading about some of the senseless violence in the world. I just don't understand how people can get off on hurting others. I mean like serial killers, they just do it over and over and over again. Each time I'm guessing giving them some sort of high.
Then there is my thought process, which is I really don't care about the end result of things. It's good to know, like x+y=b. I'm happy to have B, but I really want to know why x+y added together equals B. That make sense? Probably not.
So I read about the murders and I'm not happy enough to know that they were brutally killed, I want to know how. I want to know from the second they were caught to what caused their last breath. It's not just human murder that this thought process applies, its my whole life. I have almost majored in math at college; yet it got so boring to me at the end. I didn't care about writing papers on why the end result works. That doesn't interest me, I want to be working the workings of the result.
There have been a few that I have come across that just haunt me. In this day and age of everything being recorded I've come across some things I just can't unsee. I don't want to know that, I like reading it on paper. Paper you have a detachment from the emotions that you would have if you were actually there. You are only reading the document but not having to watch the act.
I also don't understand what has happened to respect in this world. I respect my elders and wish no harm onto them. I try for the most part to stay out of their way and let them live their lives. If they want me there, fine, I'll be there. Otherwise they have final say. How can young punks just hurt or blantant disrespect for their elders? ??? I don't understand that at all. It's like they missed something growing up and that may be failed family structure. I do not know, I just know it makes me sad.
I think a large part of this crazy dream thing is I have been reading about some of the senseless violence in the world. I just don't understand how people can get off on hurting others. I mean like serial killers, they just do it over and over and over again. Each time I'm guessing giving them some sort of high.
Then there is my thought process, which is I really don't care about the end result of things. It's good to know, like x+y=b. I'm happy to have B, but I really want to know why x+y added together equals B. That make sense? Probably not.
So I read about the murders and I'm not happy enough to know that they were brutally killed, I want to know how. I want to know from the second they were caught to what caused their last breath. It's not just human murder that this thought process applies, its my whole life. I have almost majored in math at college; yet it got so boring to me at the end. I didn't care about writing papers on why the end result works. That doesn't interest me, I want to be working the workings of the result.
There have been a few that I have come across that just haunt me. In this day and age of everything being recorded I've come across some things I just can't unsee. I don't want to know that, I like reading it on paper. Paper you have a detachment from the emotions that you would have if you were actually there. You are only reading the document but not having to watch the act.
I also don't understand what has happened to respect in this world. I respect my elders and wish no harm onto them. I try for the most part to stay out of their way and let them live their lives. If they want me there, fine, I'll be there. Otherwise they have final say. How can young punks just hurt or blantant disrespect for their elders? ??? I don't understand that at all. It's like they missed something growing up and that may be failed family structure. I do not know, I just know it makes me sad.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Hating your job
I'm done playing grown up. I want to be a kid again. I want no bills, food that I didn't buy, and no cares. I want to go back when I got in trouble for staying out too late and I didn't know that world was so hard. I'm done playing grown up for a long time.
The only bonus is alcohol. Not that I'm a freaking alcoholic or anything, but when I have a hard day at work, I can come home and have a drink or two. Even alcohol isn't cheap, that crap is expensive as well. I refuse to drink rotgut, so It's normally alot of money when I drink. My vodka of choice is Rain. I love that shit. It's like gold running out of the bottle. Then its Chambord. That is like freaking love in a bottle. Mix the two together and you have the best goddamn martini on earth. Well, in my opinion. Lot's of people don't like it, some do. I should start becoming friends with those that do.
I want to be my own agent in the insurance world. Until I move to the farm. I want to raise beef cattle and reining horses. For those of you who have no idea what reining horses are, just think cows and cowboys. I want to work some cattle.
Short post, I'm too just blah with the world today to post too much. Although......... I started this discussion on one of my other boards and its kinda blown up. I hate human crimes against humans. With animals its bad, but with helpless people its not. I just don't understand how people can kill, maim, or molest others. How people can become objects to be obtained or sold. I know I have a .32 next to my bed for the people who try. Fully loaded at all times, waiting for the fucker that wants to mess with me.
The gun safe is fully loaded and I know how to load everything in there. I'd run for the shotgun most likely because its one of the faster loading things because the shells are right there. The AR would be nice but the magazines are hard to get to because they are in sealed boxes. So the shotguns it is. I love the 12 gauge to that would be my first pick. I pity the fool who messes with me. Soon I'll have my concealed carry and that will be awesome. I will not be a shoot happy person, get that thought out of your head.
Hell, I would have shot Joe a long time ago. I just don't want to be in a situation where I could have shot the person but didn't have a gun. Not that a gun makes you a safe person or any better than the unarmed, its just nice to have backup if needed. Pulling a gun would take alot for me. In public it would never happen unless I was personally threatend. At home, oh hell yes. If Joe is not here and someone breaks in, they are getting a revolver pointed at them. I'll give them the option of leaving, I am not a trigger happy nut. They get an option.
Everyone has the same option.
The only bonus is alcohol. Not that I'm a freaking alcoholic or anything, but when I have a hard day at work, I can come home and have a drink or two. Even alcohol isn't cheap, that crap is expensive as well. I refuse to drink rotgut, so It's normally alot of money when I drink. My vodka of choice is Rain. I love that shit. It's like gold running out of the bottle. Then its Chambord. That is like freaking love in a bottle. Mix the two together and you have the best goddamn martini on earth. Well, in my opinion. Lot's of people don't like it, some do. I should start becoming friends with those that do.
I want to be my own agent in the insurance world. Until I move to the farm. I want to raise beef cattle and reining horses. For those of you who have no idea what reining horses are, just think cows and cowboys. I want to work some cattle.
Short post, I'm too just blah with the world today to post too much. Although......... I started this discussion on one of my other boards and its kinda blown up. I hate human crimes against humans. With animals its bad, but with helpless people its not. I just don't understand how people can kill, maim, or molest others. How people can become objects to be obtained or sold. I know I have a .32 next to my bed for the people who try. Fully loaded at all times, waiting for the fucker that wants to mess with me.
The gun safe is fully loaded and I know how to load everything in there. I'd run for the shotgun most likely because its one of the faster loading things because the shells are right there. The AR would be nice but the magazines are hard to get to because they are in sealed boxes. So the shotguns it is. I love the 12 gauge to that would be my first pick. I pity the fool who messes with me. Soon I'll have my concealed carry and that will be awesome. I will not be a shoot happy person, get that thought out of your head.
Hell, I would have shot Joe a long time ago. I just don't want to be in a situation where I could have shot the person but didn't have a gun. Not that a gun makes you a safe person or any better than the unarmed, its just nice to have backup if needed. Pulling a gun would take alot for me. In public it would never happen unless I was personally threatend. At home, oh hell yes. If Joe is not here and someone breaks in, they are getting a revolver pointed at them. I'll give them the option of leaving, I am not a trigger happy nut. They get an option.
Everyone has the same option.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Stress, friend dynamic changes, and fun times
I guess I am a little stressed out. This weekend was not the greatest one yet it was all at the same time. Joe and I had one of those "realization" fights. If you don't know what I'm talking about, its the type of fight where you start off pissed and by the end you have all understood. The point has been made and everyone realizes their mistakes. I'm sooooo happy to have gotten some of that off our chest.
So is fighting in a relationship really all that normal? I would believe it is. Most of time communication is key in the relationship and most of the time calm talking works. Sometimes each of us get stubborn and then the ball starts rolling. I get frustrated, he gets frustrated, and the ball is rolling. We are fighting. Then sometimes it finishes nice, other times I'm mad for awhile. Or vise versa. I feel better when we fight sometimes, like relieved and the anger is out.
Then this weekend I noticed that our dynamics of friendship are changing. We are starting to hang out with new people. A large portion of them go to our church and are in our youth group. It's crazy to think I'm becoming this adult and starting to want to do adult things. It's not so important anymore to get drunk every weekend and stumble home. A glass of wine a night is fine. If I'm out of wine no alcohol, hard liquor is just not something to drink every night. I'm begining to upkeep my house alot more. I'm starting to care about my relationships with other people and I'm wanting to work harder at work. I just feel so effing adult. Freaking nuts.
So is fighting in a relationship really all that normal? I would believe it is. Most of time communication is key in the relationship and most of the time calm talking works. Sometimes each of us get stubborn and then the ball starts rolling. I get frustrated, he gets frustrated, and the ball is rolling. We are fighting. Then sometimes it finishes nice, other times I'm mad for awhile. Or vise versa. I feel better when we fight sometimes, like relieved and the anger is out.
Then this weekend I noticed that our dynamics of friendship are changing. We are starting to hang out with new people. A large portion of them go to our church and are in our youth group. It's crazy to think I'm becoming this adult and starting to want to do adult things. It's not so important anymore to get drunk every weekend and stumble home. A glass of wine a night is fine. If I'm out of wine no alcohol, hard liquor is just not something to drink every night. I'm begining to upkeep my house alot more. I'm starting to care about my relationships with other people and I'm wanting to work harder at work. I just feel so effing adult. Freaking nuts.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Guns, Guns, and more Guns!
Last night Joe purchased another gun. He got a Remington 700, something he has been looking at buying now for about a year. Joe is the type of person that, although he has the money for retail, he will never stoop to that level. So he is patient, more than I will ever be (why he is not in debt..) and will wait until the deal comes along. Yesterday he saved $150 off the gun and is getting $40 in rebates back for buying it for a total savings of almost $200 bucks! I would say he got a good deal on a new gun! He is also thinking of putting the scope that came on the gun on my .22 so I would have a scope instead of iron sights. I don't see the point as all I ever use the .22 for is plinking, but if it makes him happy, he can do it.
I really want to get out of debt now and know I need a second job in a bad way. I actually had a second job but I quit it as of last week. Call me selfish or whatever, but I wanted this year to be about family. Every year since I have moved to Louisville it has been shuffle the family around my work schedule; frankly, I'm sick of that. This year its going to be nice to just have a liesurely Christmas. Then in Jan, off to find a new second job again. I don't mind working two jobs, I really don't, as it gives me something to do whenever I am bored. I just do not want to work late nights anymore. I know if I give it time and patience I can find something enjoyable that I want to do as a second income.
On Saturday we are going to go rent the rentals for the wedding. It is so surreal to actually be getting married to Joe. It feels like we have just been dating forever and to get married will just change something in our relationship. I haven't pinned it to the core yet what that something will be, but I think it is highly probable that instead of mine or his it will be ours. It is a dynamic change in a stable plain that we have been walking on for years. I'm scared in a way and every inch we move closer to having a wedding is one more step that invokes fear in me.
Now do not get me wrong, I am not afraid to get married. I have been thinking that it has needed to happen forever now and I can't wait to say that we are. I want to be able to know that he will care and love me till the end of my days. I want to be able to give him that in return as well. I love him to the point its sickening sometimes, even when he hurts me (not physically) or drives me crazy. He has this way of knowning he has hurt me and making me laugh and calming me down. I can be nuts when I want to be. (gasp! women are crazy?)
I do find it funny though, in the passing years me and Joe have heard more times from other couples or single people: "I wish I/we had what you two have". When I hear that it is like a sweet compliment that just makes me warm in fuzzy inside. Then I question that, wtf are those people smoking? They haven't seen some knock down fights me and Joe have had, my irrational fits, Joe's opinionated self, and our lack to do anything sometimes. The only thing I can figure out is that me and him just "meld" together so well and people see that? I have no idea.
I really want to get out of debt now and know I need a second job in a bad way. I actually had a second job but I quit it as of last week. Call me selfish or whatever, but I wanted this year to be about family. Every year since I have moved to Louisville it has been shuffle the family around my work schedule; frankly, I'm sick of that. This year its going to be nice to just have a liesurely Christmas. Then in Jan, off to find a new second job again. I don't mind working two jobs, I really don't, as it gives me something to do whenever I am bored. I just do not want to work late nights anymore. I know if I give it time and patience I can find something enjoyable that I want to do as a second income.
On Saturday we are going to go rent the rentals for the wedding. It is so surreal to actually be getting married to Joe. It feels like we have just been dating forever and to get married will just change something in our relationship. I haven't pinned it to the core yet what that something will be, but I think it is highly probable that instead of mine or his it will be ours. It is a dynamic change in a stable plain that we have been walking on for years. I'm scared in a way and every inch we move closer to having a wedding is one more step that invokes fear in me.
Now do not get me wrong, I am not afraid to get married. I have been thinking that it has needed to happen forever now and I can't wait to say that we are. I want to be able to know that he will care and love me till the end of my days. I want to be able to give him that in return as well. I love him to the point its sickening sometimes, even when he hurts me (not physically) or drives me crazy. He has this way of knowning he has hurt me and making me laugh and calming me down. I can be nuts when I want to be. (gasp! women are crazy?)
I do find it funny though, in the passing years me and Joe have heard more times from other couples or single people: "I wish I/we had what you two have". When I hear that it is like a sweet compliment that just makes me warm in fuzzy inside. Then I question that, wtf are those people smoking? They haven't seen some knock down fights me and Joe have had, my irrational fits, Joe's opinionated self, and our lack to do anything sometimes. The only thing I can figure out is that me and him just "meld" together so well and people see that? I have no idea.
Friday, November 28, 2008
I can be such a complete and total baby, like flat out throwing a tantrum when I want to. Nobody can stop me, I want to act like a 3 year old. Sometimes I get my way, sometimes the tantrum is just thrown for no reason. I threw a big one last night because I am done with my second job. Nothing about me wants to ever go back to that godforsaken place. Now, granted, in reality it is not that bad.... it has just gotten so old I don't think I can give it any fountain of youth to revive it. I hate working so late on Fridays and Saturdays. I want my weekends back for awhile so I can be totally selfish with them.
I am putting in my resignation tonight when I go in. I will work tonight, try to get out of working tomorrow but will if they want me to. I'm a sucker like that. I need to find another second job which sucks but I have to. I need the extra money to get some stuff done in my life right now, but its not a dire need thing.
So here is to acting like a total 3 year old and throwing tantrums. Possibly throwing an object or two and showing my pouty face at things. Some things I just don't want to play "grown up" with, crappy 2nd jobs are one of them. I am currently on the search for something I will enjoy doing if I will be doing it on the side.
I am putting in my resignation tonight when I go in. I will work tonight, try to get out of working tomorrow but will if they want me to. I'm a sucker like that. I need to find another second job which sucks but I have to. I need the extra money to get some stuff done in my life right now, but its not a dire need thing.
So here is to acting like a total 3 year old and throwing tantrums. Possibly throwing an object or two and showing my pouty face at things. Some things I just don't want to play "grown up" with, crappy 2nd jobs are one of them. I am currently on the search for something I will enjoy doing if I will be doing it on the side.
Thanksgiving
Yesterday was that wonderful day to reflect on everything you are thankful for. I had a dose of that while I was in the doctors office on Wednesday. There was a lady there that I am assuming did not know how to read, as she had someone else reading the patient information form for her. She didn't know the basic stuff that I always assumed most people knew. She didn't know what "sulfur" was or what "radiation" was. There was various other things there that I overheard that just made me reflect on myself.
I have a nice house, a couple cars, need nothing, have nice clothes, and enough to eat. I felt bad almost. I was wearing a suit jacket and jeans (how somewhat tacky, kill me) and had jewelery on. I had my engagement ring and a nice charm bracelet that Joe's mom gave me. I just ended up feeling like I was portraying myself as some sort of better person. I wanted to take it all off and kinda dumb down. I don't know how else to say it.
I am so thankful for everything I have. Reflecting on that is so hard to do whenever you think you need more. I need to stop being so damn wantful and pay attention to everything I have around me now.
Just for reference:
"According to the National Adult Literacy Survey, 42 million adult Americans can't read; 50 million can recognize so few printed words they are limited to a 4th or 5th grade reading level; one out of every four teenagers drops out of high school, and of those who graduate, one out of every four has the equivalent or less of an eighth grade education."
http://www.nrrf.org/essay_Illiteracy.html , 1996 Robert W. Sweet, Jr.
How do we let Americans have a 4th or 5th grade reading level! It's just plain sad! If I could figure out a way to make a difference in just one child's life, if everyone could, the rates would drop I would assume. That is my new goal for next year. "Adopt" a child in need and help them however I can to succeed.
I have a nice house, a couple cars, need nothing, have nice clothes, and enough to eat. I felt bad almost. I was wearing a suit jacket and jeans (how somewhat tacky, kill me) and had jewelery on. I had my engagement ring and a nice charm bracelet that Joe's mom gave me. I just ended up feeling like I was portraying myself as some sort of better person. I wanted to take it all off and kinda dumb down. I don't know how else to say it.
I am so thankful for everything I have. Reflecting on that is so hard to do whenever you think you need more. I need to stop being so damn wantful and pay attention to everything I have around me now.
Just for reference:
"According to the National Adult Literacy Survey, 42 million adult Americans can't read; 50 million can recognize so few printed words they are limited to a 4th or 5th grade reading level; one out of every four teenagers drops out of high school, and of those who graduate, one out of every four has the equivalent or less of an eighth grade education."
http://www.nrrf.org/essay_Illiteracy.html , 1996 Robert W. Sweet, Jr.
How do we let Americans have a 4th or 5th grade reading level! It's just plain sad! If I could figure out a way to make a difference in just one child's life, if everyone could, the rates would drop I would assume. That is my new goal for next year. "Adopt" a child in need and help them however I can to succeed.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
First Jazz
This is my first glorious post. I have no idea if I will ever come back to this blog or not, hell if I will even post on a semi regular basis if I do come back. Let's just do an introduction and see where it goes.
I am a 25 year old female engaged to this guy that I so happen to have fallen in love with. Don't ask me why, I do think he's kinda cute though. We have been together for about 6.5 years now. He introduced me to autocrossing once we met and we both did that for about 3 years in our Rx-7. Then for about a year we both kinda did nothing hobby wise and sat around. I then got into camping and hiking and still currently enjoy and love that. He started tinkering with RC cars and so our hobby train began to start back up again.
I then took a trail ride and never looked back. I started taking horseback riding lessons and am currently trying hopelessly to figure it all out. The future hubby took up guns and well that is pretty much our life. 12 guns later with 3 more on the way, a gun safe, and enough ammo for Ft.Knox (well I think anyway) , we are ready for whatever zombie invasion comes. Joe (the future guy) also uses the word "tactical" alot for almost everything in his daily life. Goofey guy.
So there is the introduction, on Thanksgiving of all times. Today its to the farm to eat turkey and of course, shoot guns. Whoooohooo for America, turkey, and guns!
I am a 25 year old female engaged to this guy that I so happen to have fallen in love with. Don't ask me why, I do think he's kinda cute though. We have been together for about 6.5 years now. He introduced me to autocrossing once we met and we both did that for about 3 years in our Rx-7. Then for about a year we both kinda did nothing hobby wise and sat around. I then got into camping and hiking and still currently enjoy and love that. He started tinkering with RC cars and so our hobby train began to start back up again.
I then took a trail ride and never looked back. I started taking horseback riding lessons and am currently trying hopelessly to figure it all out. The future hubby took up guns and well that is pretty much our life. 12 guns later with 3 more on the way, a gun safe, and enough ammo for Ft.Knox (well I think anyway) , we are ready for whatever zombie invasion comes. Joe (the future guy) also uses the word "tactical" alot for almost everything in his daily life. Goofey guy.
So there is the introduction, on Thanksgiving of all times. Today its to the farm to eat turkey and of course, shoot guns. Whoooohooo for America, turkey, and guns!
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